This feeling of suffocation is taking over me. I can barely breathe, i can hardly think. Sometimes, i wish i was a rich kid; one that could go along with plans smoothly without being a spoiler, one that could spend as much on whatever i want to buy, and one that could take up talent lessons as long as i am interested. Perhaps what's suffocating me most of the time is money. I am always a reckless person who spends without a second thought, and gets too contented with just a small sum of money in hand. But as close ones with me would have know, i can go on hunger but not borrowing money from anyone else. It's not about pride, and it's not the problem of being calculative, i just wanna get or do the things i want myself. However this few days i felt like crap. There's endless plans coming up next but i'm already holding a empty wallet, i didn't know what i can do. Another part that got me suffocated was that things just don't go my way recently and it kinda affect my emotions every day. I really hope that i can just get away from everything here for once, and give all the worries and thoughts a pause. I didn't know how to explain it to people around me when they ask me what's wrong. I sense anger, sadness and disappointment all around me but i didn't know how to apologize. Maybe, just maybe, the first person i need to apologize to is nobody else but myself, for being a person that is not strong enough.
This feeling of suffocation is taking over me. I can barely breathe, i can hardly think. Sometimes, i wish i was a rich kid; one that could go along with plans smoothly without being a spoiler, one that could spend as much on whatever i want to buy, and one that could take up talent lessons as long as i am interested. Perhaps what's suffocating me most of the time is money. I am always a reckless person who spends without a second thought, and gets too contented with just a small sum of money in hand. But as close ones with me would have know, i can go on hunger but not borrowing money from anyone else. It's not about pride, and it's not the problem of being calculative, i just wanna get or do the things i want myself. However this few days i felt like crap. There's endless plans coming up next but i'm already holding a empty wallet, i didn't know what i can do. Another part that got me suffocated was that things just don't go my way recently and it kinda affect my emotions every day. I really hope that i can just get away from everything here for once, and give all the worries and thoughts a pause. I didn't know how to explain it to people around me when they ask me what's wrong. I sense anger, sadness and disappointment all around me but i didn't know how to apologize. Maybe, just maybe, the first person i need to apologize to is nobody else but myself, for being a person that is not strong enough.
βTo put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.β
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who won't get angry no matter what. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
Share your views with me! :)
THE CALL MARKET
I've open a online shop recently! More items will be uploaded so do stay tune! :) Click the link below to be directed!
georgia, 28 october, singaporean