Have you experienced that before: When someone told you that you are not as smart you think you are, and that you should try taking a look at yourself while standing in their shoes, to realize how much a fool you actually have been. How much that actually hurts, till that i think i don't feel a thing anymore. People always comment on how insensitive you are to their feelings. And i often ask myself: Will it suffice to content everybody even if i manage to walk in every of their shoes. I think not. I could come to a straight conclusion boldly, no one will ever be contented with what they have. When they gain one, they long for another one while promising yet again that that will be the last for them to be contented. I once tried to make everyone around me be happy by doing what they say every single time, i end up being the one crying behind the scene. I kept my mouth shut tight when i sense something wrong, with voices in my head warning me to flow my tears backwards. I even smiled and use the nicest tone even when i'm flaring on the inside. However, all those things i gave in was never once seen. I can please every single human for what i think they want, but it does't necessary mean that it is what they want. I'm a fool again, a fool for being too naive in believing what i think is best for them. For this, i'm giving a rare apology: I'm sorry. Instead of transmitting the message that i understand i care and i want them to be happy because of me, it turns out more like the vice versa. They see me as subservient, weak and taking things too simply. My effort turns into not putting in effort, and the whole lot of things i had done silently swiped into nothing meaningful. All my actions can be seen, can be felt. The purpose of them can be twisted, can be recoiled.
However, what people will never notice is the Biggest sacrifices i've made: Time , and Becoming someone i said i will never be.
Have you experienced that before: When someone told you that you are not as smart you think you are, and that you should try taking a look at yourself while standing in their shoes, to realize how much a fool you actually have been. How much that actually hurts, till that i think i don't feel a thing anymore. People always comment on how insensitive you are to their feelings. And i often ask myself: Will it suffice to content everybody even if i manage to walk in every of their shoes. I think not. I could come to a straight conclusion boldly, no one will ever be contented with what they have. When they gain one, they long for another one while promising yet again that that will be the last for them to be contented. I once tried to make everyone around me be happy by doing what they say every single time, i end up being the one crying behind the scene. I kept my mouth shut tight when i sense something wrong, with voices in my head warning me to flow my tears backwards. I even smiled and use the nicest tone even when i'm flaring on the inside. However, all those things i gave in was never once seen. I can please every single human for what i think they want, but it does't necessary mean that it is what they want. I'm a fool again, a fool for being too naive in believing what i think is best for them. For this, i'm giving a rare apology: I'm sorry. Instead of transmitting the message that i understand i care and i want them to be happy because of me, it turns out more like the vice versa. They see me as subservient, weak and taking things too simply. My effort turns into not putting in effort, and the whole lot of things i had done silently swiped into nothing meaningful. All my actions can be seen, can be felt. The purpose of them can be twisted, can be recoiled.
However, what people will never notice is the Biggest sacrifices i've made: Time , and Becoming someone i said i will never be.
βTo put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.β
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who won't get angry no matter what. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
Share your views with me! :)
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georgia, 28 october, singaporean