Have had quite a long 2 hours on the phone time with rene early in the morning. I suck at cheering people up, i just don't know how but rather make them cry even more badly. But sometimes it's a good thing to cry everything out instead of burying everything down the heart, i suppose? People always ask me about my life and everything. My dear asked me this today, but it isn't really easy to explain. It had not been the rip-roaring spectacular i fancied it would be, neither is it some cinderella fairy-tale stories that a prince charming would appear and bring me somewhere faraway from here for my happily ever after. There are no specific monuments dedicated to me and there will never be one too i guess. My name will soon be forgotten in the sea of living people once im gone, and this common life of mine will be erased clearly with not even a single and slightest dust left behind. Today was emotional, with nothing much but just thinking and thinking further to further. I really love talking to this girl of mine, and somehow there will be no awkwardness existing in any creaks or cracks. H2h talk is always the best talks among all conversations i had with many random people. Sometimes i would rather be a gnome, some tiny creature that could stay underground forever guarding his treasures. Life would be so simple then,without having to face the stress of O Levels, without needing to see and hear the critisings from evil people, without even caring what's happening around the four sides of me. Today is the last day of September one week break, after today there is pretty just about a month or so left before the start of reality test. In my heart i do know about the importance of O Level examinations and how the cert will be hugging on my back for the rest of my life, but somehow i feel im really not ready for any of this. Im a lazy, somnolent and soporific person who's lacked of the most basic self-disclipline and one whom should be destined to live in a piggery; howver i still manage to survive here, somehow. Im not certain of what will become of me ten years from now, but i really wish to gnarled some sensible senses to my pigga brain and become a better person as compared to now. Words don't speak anything, so i'm trying.
p/s: Will anyone ever remember my name in the next century? I think it will just be left printed alone on a small corner of the history textbook of life.
Have had quite a long 2 hours on the phone time with rene early in the morning. I suck at cheering people up, i just don't know how but rather make them cry even more badly. But sometimes it's a good thing to cry everything out instead of burying everything down the heart, i suppose? People always ask me about my life and everything. My dear asked me this today, but it isn't really easy to explain. It had not been the rip-roaring spectacular i fancied it would be, neither is it some cinderella fairy-tale stories that a prince charming would appear and bring me somewhere faraway from here for my happily ever after. There are no specific monuments dedicated to me and there will never be one too i guess. My name will soon be forgotten in the sea of living people once im gone, and this common life of mine will be erased clearly with not even a single and slightest dust left behind. Today was emotional, with nothing much but just thinking and thinking further to further. I really love talking to this girl of mine, and somehow there will be no awkwardness existing in any creaks or cracks. H2h talk is always the best talks among all conversations i had with many random people. Sometimes i would rather be a gnome, some tiny creature that could stay underground forever guarding his treasures. Life would be so simple then,without having to face the stress of O Levels, without needing to see and hear the critisings from evil people, without even caring what's happening around the four sides of me. Today is the last day of September one week break, after today there is pretty just about a month or so left before the start of reality test. In my heart i do know about the importance of O Level examinations and how the cert will be hugging on my back for the rest of my life, but somehow i feel im really not ready for any of this. Im a lazy, somnolent and soporific person who's lacked of the most basic self-disclipline and one whom should be destined to live in a piggery; howver i still manage to survive here, somehow. Im not certain of what will become of me ten years from now, but i really wish to gnarled some sensible senses to my pigga brain and become a better person as compared to now. Words don't speak anything, so i'm trying.
p/s: Will anyone ever remember my name in the next century? I think it will just be left printed alone on a small corner of the history textbook of life.
βTo put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.β
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who won't get angry no matter what. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
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georgia, 28 october, singaporean