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Coastal clouds had slowly began to roll across the evening sky, turning silver with the reflection of the moon. Listening to the crickets and the rustling leaves, im thinking that the sound of nature was more real and aroused more emotion than things like cars and plane. I've always been blinded by the society's wants, but had never really take a breath on reality. Lies are always so beautiful and amazing, till that stage where sometimes im being attracted to it so much till i couldn't get back up to where im really from. Dreaming is another stage of life i really enjoyed the most. It somehow feel like a second home, where you could just build a small little cottage and live in there for the rest of your life. Certain times dreams are pretty ridiculous, but you just dont feel weird doing what you are doing in it. But when you woke up being clear on your mind, that sense of truth might still hits you so hard that it might be turning circles in your head for the rest of the day, or even a week. However, there are always some points of time in reality, where everything just simply feel like a dream full of lies; and that for the short period of time, everything that you had wanted somehow just appeared right in front of you. This is exactly how im feeling for this september. I've always been propping and relying on the others, never wanting to stand up rooted steadily on the ground with my own feet. Sometimes i'm really worried for myself, and worried for the ones around me. Im never a very dedicated and warming friend, but im one who relys so much on those who are close to me. I do know that im being irritating to some now, and even becoming a burden on them. It hurts feeling this way, but i just couldn't do anything to stop anything from happening. I don't understand myself, and i don't understand how people around me really feel about me. I get happy easily, and also at the same time get upset even more easily. I can differentiate clearly between what's truth and what's lies, what's permanent and what's temporary, who's sincere and who's just playing. I would have to say that i'm not someone who's having traits like intelligence, confidence, strength of spirit, passion , and any other ones that could inspire others to greatness. I don't walk like a graceful lady, neither will i pay special attention to how grosteque i look like when i'm eating a spring chicken. But im just me, someone who is just as aberrant like this. 

p/s: dear friends and those whom had needed me for a conversation or something, you guys are really important to me. I do realise my bad habit of not replying people, and some had express to me their disappointment and unhappiness, and im really sorry. I never had the intention of not replying so as to make fun of you guys or something, but sometimes i think you would really know the reason why. Most of the time is because im busy with homeworks or revisions. If not this way, it would be that im either eating or upset. I tend to not reply the others when someone talking to me makes me feel unimportant, and i know this is really a bad part of me. I'm trying really hard to get rid of this side of me, and sometimes please do not mind me asking those random and sort of serious questions. Just take it as im mad and dont reply me. Well, i guess im someone who needs people to really have a serious talk to me. I don't know where i have went wrong or how have i upset you in some ways, please help me by telling me if i had done anything wrong. Really. If you guys didn't want to let me know but just rather keep it all in your heart, i guess it will be a bad hard times for you and especially for me too. Do let me know your true feelings, and don't hide anything from me. I dont promise myself to be a perfect friend or chat-buddy, but what i will sincerely do is to listen to you. 

And also on a different tune, i really would like to wake up now. This ongoing dream recently is really being very heartwarming and melodic. It brings me down to a corner so deep that i almost forget to wake up, even though i had reminded myself all the way long that i should not fall too deep into this. I think im really too blinded by this lie, and this had seriously misled me to something that is too ridiculous to be even thinking about it. I feel stupid, i feel imbecilic, i feel puerile and dazed hanging on to some nonsensical things and people that dont really take me as something. Everything just feel so laughable and meaningless now, and i would really be a greater fool if i still allow this ludicrous dream to continue playing. Any sensible or rational people would have seen how fake and preposterous this is, but i guess i had failed to be the smart one. So, i think i would just choose to get back to my usual life, how is it like in the past to be without you intruding in like this, and letting this prodigious feat and dream to be dispersed into smoke that seems like a fairy-tale dragon. 

Coastal clouds had slowly began to roll across the evening sky, turning silver with the reflection of the moon. Listening to the crickets and the rustling leaves, im thinking that the sound of nature was more real and aroused more emotion than things like cars and plane. I've always been blinded by the society's wants, but had never really take a breath on reality. Lies are always so beautiful and amazing, till that stage where sometimes im being attracted to it so much till i couldn't get back up to where im really from. Dreaming is another stage of life i really enjoyed the most. It somehow feel like a second home, where you could just build a small little cottage and live in there for the rest of your life. Certain times dreams are pretty ridiculous, but you just dont feel weird doing what you are doing in it. But when you woke up being clear on your mind, that sense of truth might still hits you so hard that it might be turning circles in your head for the rest of the day, or even a week. However, there are always some points of time in reality, where everything just simply feel like a dream full of lies; and that for the short period of time, everything that you had wanted somehow just appeared right in front of you. This is exactly how im feeling for this september. I've always been propping and relying on the others, never wanting to stand up rooted steadily on the ground with my own feet. Sometimes i'm really worried for myself, and worried for the ones around me. Im never a very dedicated and warming friend, but im one who relys so much on those who are close to me. I do know that im being irritating to some now, and even becoming a burden on them. It hurts feeling this way, but i just couldn't do anything to stop anything from happening. I don't understand myself, and i don't understand how people around me really feel about me. I get happy easily, and also at the same time get upset even more easily. I can differentiate clearly between what's truth and what's lies, what's permanent and what's temporary, who's sincere and who's just playing. I would have to say that i'm not someone who's having traits like intelligence, confidence, strength of spirit, passion , and any other ones that could inspire others to greatness. I don't walk like a graceful lady, neither will i pay special attention to how grosteque i look like when i'm eating a spring chicken. But im just me, someone who is just as aberrant like this. 

p/s: dear friends and those whom had needed me for a conversation or something, you guys are really important to me. I do realise my bad habit of not replying people, and some had express to me their disappointment and unhappiness, and im really sorry. I never had the intention of not replying so as to make fun of you guys or something, but sometimes i think you would really know the reason why. Most of the time is because im busy with homeworks or revisions. If not this way, it would be that im either eating or upset. I tend to not reply the others when someone talking to me makes me feel unimportant, and i know this is really a bad part of me. I'm trying really hard to get rid of this side of me, and sometimes please do not mind me asking those random and sort of serious questions. Just take it as im mad and dont reply me. Well, i guess im someone who needs people to really have a serious talk to me. I don't know where i have went wrong or how have i upset you in some ways, please help me by telling me if i had done anything wrong. Really. If you guys didn't want to let me know but just rather keep it all in your heart, i guess it will be a bad hard times for you and especially for me too. Do let me know your true feelings, and don't hide anything from me. I dont promise myself to be a perfect friend or chat-buddy, but what i will sincerely do is to listen to you. 

And also on a different tune, i really would like to wake up now. This ongoing dream recently is really being very heartwarming and melodic. It brings me down to a corner so deep that i almost forget to wake up, even though i had reminded myself all the way long that i should not fall too deep into this. I think im really too blinded by this lie, and this had seriously misled me to something that is too ridiculous to be even thinking about it. I feel stupid, i feel imbecilic, i feel puerile and dazed hanging on to some nonsensical things and people that dont really take me as something. Everything just feel so laughable and meaningless now, and i would really be a greater fool if i still allow this ludicrous dream to continue playing. Any sensible or rational people would have seen how fake and preposterous this is, but i guess i had failed to be the smart one. So, i think i would just choose to get back to my usual life, how is it like in the past to be without you intruding in like this, and letting this prodigious feat and dream to be dispersed into smoke that seems like a fairy-tale dragon. 

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who won't get angry no matter what. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

I've open a online shop recently! More items will be uploaded so do stay tune! :) Click the link below to be directed!

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